F1: What did happen to your network?F2: [Listening]F1: I tried to call you but the operator told me that the monkey you  are looking for is    now on the tree. please try again later… … …

Hiker          : Will this pathway take me to the main road?
local yokel   :  No ,‘You’ll have to go by yourself !’

Mother : ‘Why are you jumping up & down?’
Baby    : ‘I have just taken my medicine & I forgot to shake the bottle.’

Mr. ‘X’ noticed his neighbour Mr. ‘Y’, searching very hard for something in his garden.
Mr. ‘Y’  : ‘Have You lost something, Mr. ‘X’?
Mr. ‘X’  : ‘Yes, I’ve mislaid my spectacles.’
Mr. ‘Y’  : ‘Oh dear,’ Where did you last see them?
Mr. ‘X’  :  In my sitting room.Mr. ‘Y’ : In your sitting room?[surprised] so why are you looking for them in  garden?
Mr.  ‘X’  :  ‘Oh,’ ‘theres more light out here!!’

Do you know that your smile takes 1000 people to death?Please save this world. So please start brushing regularly.

When you feel sad, just go to mirror &say “I am really so cute” . you will overcome your sadness . But don’t make this habit. Because liars will go to hell.

Did you hear about the fool who keeps going round saying No?‘No.’‘oh so it’s you!’

A donkey wanted to cross a stream in order to eat the lush grass in the meadow opposite.there was no bridge, no boat & the donkey couldn’t how did he cross?… You give up?… so did the donkey.

I didn’t come here to be insulted !“ No? Where do you usually go?”

A man is in a prison cell with no doors & windows; there are no holes in the ceiling or the trapdoors in the floor, yet in the morning the warders found him gone. How did he get out?
Answer: Through the doorway-there were no doors, remember?!

What was the tallest mountain in the world before Mount Everest was discovered?Answer: still Mount Everest- the fact that it was undiscovered makes no difference, it was still the highest mountain in the world.

If a dog is tied to a rope 15 feet long, how can it reach a bone 30feet away?
Answer: The rope isn’t tied to anything!

A frog is lying on a lilypad in the middle of a pond. If he is 6 inches from the north edge,6 inches from the south edge & 4 inches from the east & west edges, in which direction will he jump to get out of pond?Answer: He won’t jump at all because he is dead.

‘Let’s have a race to say the alphabet.’‘All right’‘The alphabet- beat you.’

Two boys camping out in a back-garden wanted to know the time, so they began singing at the tops of the voices. Eventually a neighbour threw open his window & shouted down at them. Hey! Less noise! Don’t you know what the time is? It’s three’o clock!’